I know... I know...
You would rather listen to my biased and ill-informed opinions about mental health and humanity in general. But today you are going to learn about desserts. Ganaches, in specific.
And if you don't like chocolates or are allergic, you should think very carefully about the sins you committed the last life to incur such punishment.
Chop up chocolate. The finer you chop it, the faster the melt. This is a good thing. The better quality the better the ganache. I go for the darker the better and usually use 100% cacao unsweetened, and 77-88% dark, about half and half.
Put it into a glass measuring cup and see how much you have. I tend to end up around 1.5 cups.
Measure out that amount of heavy cream into a double boiler (ie, a saucepan filled with water, with a glass or metal bowl sitting in it. When you boil the water, the bowl heats gently, insuring you do not scorch the cream).
Once the cream is damn near boiling (that is the technical term. For me, it's when I can't touch past my first knuckle without burning), pour it over the chopped chocolate. Let it sit half a minute or so to melt and then stir gently until it is mostly mixed. Then beat it until it has a nice sheen.
Let it cool a few minutes. Put liners in muffin tins and dallop about a tablespoon or so into each one. For 1.5 cups of chocolate, this comes to about 36 muffins.
The Nut Cream:
1.5 cups of any nut butter you like. Unsalted, unsweetened. Preferably grind it yourself at a health food store.
Add 1 stick of softened butter (salted or not, up to you. I like salted).
Mix thoroughly. Add a tablespoon of molasses, honey, or maple syrup if you like. Or a few drops stevia or other sweetener.
Once the ganaches are cool enough to hold shape when you tip the muffin tin, dallop the nut cream on top. Again, about a tablespoon each. I smooth it out with my finger because I run a very clean & careful kitchen.
Refrigerate. Let sit about 24 hours before you bag them, or else they sweat.
That's it!! Yummy, low sugar, more nutritious than a candy bar candy!!
edit from auntie: for people who weigh things, 1/4 cup cream to each 3-4oz chocolate bar