Childlike Joy

I was reading in my yoga journal today about squealing with joy more often, taking a child's delight in the world.

That is certainly one place that autism rocks. We tend to be more childlike with all that developmental delay we've got going. I'm pretty sure that I tend to be about eight years old on the emotional and moral scales. I certainly delight in little things that most adults have become immune to.

Rest assured, the joy is contagious! When I worked at a hospital and ran to watch the sun rise most mornings. My patients got into the act and my co-workers as well. They'd mostly forgotten how pretty and magical sunrise was. How so, when it rises every day? I saw it as a daily reminder of the beauty and magic of life and they got used to it. Well, without filters, I can't get used to it. ^.^

Score one for autism!

I still dance in the rain, squee at shiny objects, collect bird feathers and, in general, make an absolute goober out of myself at everything that catches my interest. Granted that many NTs do as well, it seems to be something easier for autistics because we don't outgrow much.

The downside? Well, I still throw temper tantrums like an eight year old although I've had to learn to suppress most of the screaming and lighting of fires. Sometimes I remember that life isn't fair and have to throw a bit of a fit over it, even though my 32 years of experience already understands this cognitively. It is very odd, sometimes, to have such dissonance between emotional and cognitive understandings! Or, as I usually shout at people who try to explain things to me, "Well I know it in my head, just not my heart!"

Overall, though, it's more than worth it. I wouldn't want to be able to get used to pretty sunsets and lose my fascination with foggy mornings.