Childlike Joy

I was reading in my yoga journal today about squealing with joy more often, taking a child's delight in the world.

That is certainly one place that autism rocks. We tend to be more childlike with all that developmental delay we've got going. I'm pretty sure that I tend to be about eight years old on the emotional and moral scales. I certainly delight in little things that most adults have become immune to.

Rest assured, the joy is contagious! When I worked at a hospital and ran to watch the sun rise most mornings. My patients got into the act and my co-workers as well. They'd mostly forgotten how pretty and magical sunrise was. How so, when it rises every day? I saw it as a daily reminder of the beauty and magic of life and they got used to it. Well, without filters, I can't get used to it. ^.^

Score one for autism!

I still dance in the rain, squee at shiny objects, collect bird feathers and, in general, make an absolute goober out of myself at everything that catches my interest. Granted that many NTs do as well, it seems to be something easier for autistics because we don't outgrow much.

The downside? Well, I still throw temper tantrums like an eight year old although I've had to learn to suppress most of the screaming and lighting of fires. Sometimes I remember that life isn't fair and have to throw a bit of a fit over it, even though my 32 years of experience already understands this cognitively. It is very odd, sometimes, to have such dissonance between emotional and cognitive understandings! Or, as I usually shout at people who try to explain things to me, "Well I know it in my head, just not my heart!"

Overall, though, it's more than worth it. I wouldn't want to be able to get used to pretty sunsets and lose my fascination with foggy mornings.

Evening Shifts

I am now on an evening shift. 3-10. I love the hours. I can sleep in til a decent hour and still fit in my yoga and dance practice with my friend.

The only negative is figuring out dinner. If dinner is around 7... that means all my weekday meals end up having to be crock pot or precooked. This isn't the end of the world, but I'm still getting my schedule matching to do this.

I am growing, which means hormones, which means my autistic little brain is in short circuit mode. Which means that it is being absurdly difficult for me to wrap my brain around the new shift. It really isn't difficult to cook for but I'm just having issues with it. Hopefully I'll get myself sorted out soon. I have these lovely menus and I have the same days off still. So I ought to be able to do the menu on Thursday, like I have been all year - no change! - and make this work.

I don't know what my issue is with it. Silly brain. Must beat it now.

I managed to have one of my weird seizure episodes without any jaundice!! This is rare indeed and shows that the diet is effective. This is a huge bonus in my life. The entire point of my exceedingly strict, low carb diet is to take the stress off of my liver the rest of the month so that these episodes don't shut it down. Jaundice gets old, fast.

Ooh! I nearly forgot, my low carb ice cream was fairly successful! I made custard (eggs, cream, stevia) and put it in the ice cream maker. Added some chopped bittersweet chocolate towards the end... Needs a little bit of work but I was satisfied. More imporantly, I am confident that a carb-free or very low carb ice cream is possible and quite simple. Hoorah!

It is, of course, as is the rest of my diet, far more expensive than doing it the usual way, but health and good food are worth the extra expense, yes? I figure it is still cheaper than health insurance and medication. I'm getting more stable through good diet and it isn't going to destroy my organs. In fact, it seems to be improving my liver and kidneys. Let's hear it for paying attention to the body!

I'm slowly adding more recipes to my recipezaar site. A cookbook cannot be far behind! So long as by "far behind" you mean "sometimes in the next ten years". If that's the case, I'll be right on time! My Auntie Zilla needs to get me more test recipes! I'll blame her for my lack of cookbook. Ha. It's good to have someone friendly to blame :)

wow! a post!

I haven't written in quite a while because everything keeps changing, and I've been busy trying to deal with it. All change is bad, even when it's good.

I have moved, had a schedule change after several weeks of too few hours, and dealt with friends moving away. Most of the changes have been good, but it's still a strain. I'm still adjusting to my new shift at work, but I love the new shift. It is later in the day so that I have more time for dance and yoga, which means I am better focused all together. I am still trying to get the timing right on cooking so that we all have dinner, but I work 3-10 now so it'll be another week, probably, before I really get into the swing of things. I foresee much crock pot and pre-cooking and freezing.

Speaking of my favorite hobby, I want to learn to make exquisite bento boxes! I'd been doing bento for my roommate for work, but I want to make “kawaii” bento, the cutesy version. Since I can't eat rice, I'll have time to collect supplies while I collect people to cook for. My hours are picking up again so it shouldn't be too hard to afford a few rice moulds and punches for seaweed for decoration. I'll start posting pics here as I make them.

I'd love to be able to send my nieces off to school with proper obnoxiously cute bento, but I live a few hours away. So I'll have to figure something out. Luckily, I have friends in town to experiment on. Bwahahaha. And maybe on weekends when we visit, I can leave a few bentos with my nieces. Since I am planning on more frequent visits, hopefully they'll get lots of bento treats.